








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 243 | 10% |
| Smokes | 680 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 951 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 614 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,681 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | play dude (eagle rank) | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | nxs | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Goiver | 49% | 51 |
| #4 | 34+90uiq | 48% | 88 |
| #5 | YungRät | 47% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 34+90uiq | 48% | 88 |
| #5 | YungRät | 47% | 36 |
| #6 | markomania | 46% | 65 |
| #7 | L | 45% | 77 |
| #8 | k0ntti | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 34+90uiq | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | L | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | markomania | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Goiver | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | YungRät | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L | 672 | 0.41 | 16 min |
| #2 | 34+90uiq | 477 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #3 | markomania | 182 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | k0ntti | 125 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Goiver | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | play dude (eagle rank) | +3.44 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | L | +2.62 | 62 | 68 |
| #3 | nxs | +2.12 | 66 | 47 |
| #4 | 34+90uiq | +2.03 | 56 | 78 |
| #5 | k0ntti | +0.11 | 49 | 79 |





