








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 568 | 26% |
| Smokes | 556 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 572 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 528 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,754 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YungRät | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | 34+90uiq | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | Goiver | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | L | 43% | 42 |
| #5 | markomania | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 34+90uiq | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | Goiver | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | L | 43% | 42 |
| #5 | markomania | 41% | 32 |
| #6 | TheHuldor | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 34+90uiq | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Goiver | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | TheHuldor | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L | 352 | 0.40 | 8 min |
| #2 | 34+90uiq | 110 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | markomania | 90 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | YungRät | 54 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Goiver | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 34+90uiq | +3.03 | 66 | 80 |
| #2 | L | +2.49 | 57 | 64 |
| #3 | YungRät | +0.33 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | k0ntti | +0.32 | 51 | 77 |
| #5 | markomania | +0.31 | 36 | 54 |





