








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,693 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2348 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1815 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2145 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2385 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $584,706 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kulbein | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Alex | 57% | 84 |
| #3 | scav | 56% | 80 |
| #4 | GomerPyle | 56% | 128 |
| #5 | mowatt | 56% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | mowatt | 56% | 52 |
| #6 | Armcollector | 55% | 85 |
| #7 | nameC | 52% | 67 |
| #8 | nbody | 50% | 30 |
| #9 | fhqwhgads | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | GomerPyle | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | scav | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Armcollector | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | mowatt | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | 559 | 0.31 | 17 min |
| #2 | scav | 179 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | nameC | 135 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | GomerPyle | 114 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Armcollector | 107 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alex | +2.67 | 46 | 75 |
| #2 | nameC | +1.36 | 62 | 62 |
| #3 | fhqwhgads | +0.84 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | scav | +0.83 | 61 | 52 |
| #5 | SpookZ | +0.63 | 52 | 57 |





