








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1600 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1340 | 34% |
| Smokes | 817 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 610 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1197 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $536,080 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Vex | 57% | 65 |
| #6 | -LMS- | 55% | 131 |
| #7 | OuttaNowhere | 55% | 22 |
| #8 | PraiX | 54% | 13 |
| #9 | (Un)Luckyyy | 51% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxo | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ☆Major☆Executie☆ | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | -LMS- | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | (Un)Luckyyy | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxo | 546 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | -LMS- | 392 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | (Un)Luckyyy | 119 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | ☆Major☆Executie☆ | 34 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | PraiX | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |





