








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,882 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1689 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2808 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2249 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2136 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,236,727 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GanjaEnjoyer69420 | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Seko | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | LouiVuis | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | Ostrich | 55% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Ilaツ✞ | 52% | 64 |
| #12 | g0dfather | 50% | 30 |
| #13 | ✪amped | 45% | 49 |
| #14 | nervnicht | 44% | 25 |
| #15 | MWns | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hamudi47 | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Ostrich | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | g0dfather | 5 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | GanjaEnjoyer69420 | 5 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | faselaneio | Nackenklatsche2go | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hamudi47 | 672 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #2 | Ostrich | 400 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #3 | Dr.Livesey | 180 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪amped | 176 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ilaツ✞ | 145 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrKirby幸せ | +3.09 | 70 | 68 |
| #2 | Seko | +2.44 | 80 | 50 |
| #3 | MWns | +1.92 | 81 | 49 |
| #4 | GanjaEnjoyer69420 | +1.77 | 77 | 54 |
| #5 | ✪amped | +1.74 | 79 | 69 |





