








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2409 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2241 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1644 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2137 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $926,699 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 877 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrKirby幸せ | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | GanjaEnjoyer69420 | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Dr.Livesey | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | MWns | 60% | 25 |
| #5 | Ostrich | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Hamudi47 | 52% | 44 |
| #8 | DEKU_QCK | 52% | 64 |
| #9 | Seko | 51% | 86 |
| #10 | HotaruKurosaki | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | ✪amped | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seko | 17 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | GanjaEnjoyer69420 | 10 | 0.0279 |
| #3 | Ostrich | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | DEKU_QCK | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Hamudi47 | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hamudi47 | 321 | 0.34 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ostrich | 198 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #3 | Seko | 169 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | DEKU_QCK | 145 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Dr.Livesey | 104 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪amped | +2.73 | 80 | 71 |
| #2 | GanjaEnjoyer69420 | +2.62 | 61 | 42 |
| #3 | MrKirby幸せ | +2.44 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | MWns | +1.15 | 73 | 45 |
| #5 | Ostrich | +1.13 | 76 | 81 |





