








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2577 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4285 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3375 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2698 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2798 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,091 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 230 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GanjaEnjoyer69420 | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | faselaneio | Nackenklatsche2go | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | | 63% | 48 |
| #4 | Hamudi47 | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | Ilaツ✞ | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | | 63% | 48 |
| #4 | Hamudi47 | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | Ilaツ✞ | 56% | 32 |
| #6 | DEKU_QCK | 55% | 67 |
| #7 | MrKirby幸せ | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEKU_QCK | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Hamudi47 | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | GanjaEnjoyer69420 | 3 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | faselaneio | Nackenklatsche2go | 2 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hamudi47 | 315 | 0.33 | 7 min |
| #2 | DEKU_QCK | 181 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | | 158 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | MrKirby幸せ | 76 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ilaツ✞ | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faselaneio | Nackenklatsche2go | +2.00 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | GanjaEnjoyer69420 | +1.75 | 73 | 49 |
| #3 | MrKirby幸せ | +1.13 | 68 | 69 |
| #4 | Ilaツ✞ | +1.07 | 54 | 58 |
| #5 | | +0.86 | 83 | 57 |





