








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 638 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 166 matches | ||
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2712 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2819 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2746 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2643 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $842,630 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MissNoAim | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Lite | 65% | 94 |
| #3 | Fit-Marie | 63% | 32 |
| #4 | marre | 61% | 75 |
| #5 | Dr. Bergwall 慶祝偉大 | 61% | 185 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Geniusxl3 | 55% | 100 |
| #8 | get_rickt | 54% | 68 |
| #9 | Gnarly (rico) | 54% | 182 |
| #10 | Luvaludde ❤ | 51% | 119 |
| #11 | Geaddan | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Bergwall 慶祝偉大 | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Gnarly (rico) | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | marre | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | get_rickt | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Luvaludde ❤ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lite | 811 | 0.39 | 22 min |
| #2 | Gnarly (rico) | 607 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | Dr. Bergwall 慶祝偉大 | 336 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Geniusxl3 | 272 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | Luvaludde ❤ | 212 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Bergwall 慶祝偉大 | +2.79 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | challe | +1.45 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | marre | +1.38 | 81 | 72 |
| #4 | Lite | +0.71 | 66 | 78 |
| #5 | Geniusxl3 | -0.10 | 61 | 63 |





