








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1128 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1260 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1273 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1173 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,212 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fit-Marie | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | Geniusxl3 | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | Hakke | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | Lite | 68% | 37 |
| #5 | Dr. Bergwall 慶祝偉大 | 66% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Gnarly (rico) | 59% | 64 |
| #10 | Sjomppis | 59% | 22 |
| #11 | get_rickt | 58% | 12 |
| #12 | Luvaludde ❤ | 57% | 30 |
| #13 | millzelelle | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | challe | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Dr. Bergwall 慶祝偉大 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Gnarly (rico) | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Fit-Marie | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | get_rickt | 1 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | challe | 301 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Lite | 273 | 0.36 | 8 min |
| #3 | Gnarly (rico) | 265 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dr. Bergwall 慶祝偉大 | 116 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Sjomppis | 72 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr. Bergwall 慶祝偉大 | +3.62 | 81 | 70 |
| #2 | challe | +1.57 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | marre | +1.43 | 81 | 72 |
| #4 | Lite | +1.09 | 71 | 76 |
| #5 | Sjomppis | +0.50 | 67 | 66 |





