








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2260 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,016 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3852 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3132 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2001 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2031 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $362,698 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JDash | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | RG89 | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | IseeUdere | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | ✪ Alphite | 64% | 33 |
| #5 | na | 63% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | m1xtape | 56% | 16 |
| #13 | cdiixon | 55% | 31 |
| #14 | BIG_gunner32 | 54% | 13 |
| #15 | wheeler- | 50% | 18 |
| #16 | duzty | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redd. | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Control_taker98 | 5 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | ✪ Alphite | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | na | 4 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | cdiixon | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redd. | 191 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Control_taker98 | 151 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪ Alphite | 131 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | RG89 | 70 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | wheeler- | 60 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HuangTong | +4.71 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | mdC_ | +2.63 | 71 | 78 |
| #3 | Control_taker98 | +2.35 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | jazzy | +2.24 | 78 | 74 |
| #5 | IseeUdere | +1.88 | 81 | 77 |





