








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
868 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 523 | 24% |
| Smokes | 95 | 4% |
| HE Grenades | 771 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 792 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,425 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Jonezi | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | NxBxdy | 48% | 40 |
| #10 | ⛧Sinisteri⛧ | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | Dawg | 42% | 19 |
| #12 | Sami the public racist | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ | 24 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | n1blo | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | bomboclat | 6 | 0.0246 |
| #4 | Sami the public racist | 4 | 0.0258 |
| #5 | ⛧L33⛧ | 3 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ | 460 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | n1blo | 240 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | NxBxdy | 119 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | ⛧L33⛧ | 106 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #5 | bomboclat | 87 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomboclat | +6.82 | 80 | 72 |
| #2 | ⛟ | +4.39 | 83 | 69 |
| #3 | Retard | +3.21 | 66 | 72 |
| #4 | n1blo | +1.82 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | NxBxdy | +1.82 | 75 | 60 |





