








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3074 | 41% |
| Smokes | 2091 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 753 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1613 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $154,365 of utility $49 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 826 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Retard | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | bomboclat | 75% | 20 |
| #3 | Sami the public racist | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | bomber rat | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | n1blo | 48% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Dawg | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | BOSSOMIES | 40% | 15 |
| #10 | Jonezi | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | ⛧Sinisteri⛧ | 38% | 8 |
| #12 | NxBxdy | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ | 20 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | bomboclat | 12 | 0.0273 |
| #3 | n1blo | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Sami the public racist | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | NxBxdy | 2 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟ | 328 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | n1blo | 221 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | bomboclat | 134 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #4 | Sami the public racist | 83 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dawg | 83 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bomboclat | +9.40 | 78 | 83 |
| #2 | ⛟ | +5.32 | 86 | 74 |
| #3 | Retard | +4.24 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | n1blo | +2.27 | 77 | 66 |
| #5 | ⛧Sinisteri⛧ | +2.22 | 61 | 42 |





