








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1379 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1661 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1869 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1772 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $799,086 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Himsó | 56% | 27 |
| #7 | Óli Anton | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | 你媽媽性感 | 52% | 77 |
| #9 | -->mio<-- | 51% | 37 |
| #10 | Freynar | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 你媽媽性感 | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | -->mio<-- | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Freynar | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Jazzycakes | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | kristoferomar2009 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 你媽媽性感 | 340 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Freynar | 136 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jazzycakes | 133 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | LeXmaskinen | 118 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Maggi Mörgæs | 114 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freynar | +3.72 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | -->mio<-- | +1.13 | 62 | 44 |
| #3 | kristoferomar2009 | +1.00 | 68 | 46 |
| #4 | Jazzycakes | +0.99 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | 你媽媽性感 | +0.80 | 61 | 56 |





