








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 118 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2007 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1945 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1874 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1749 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,661 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jazzycakes | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | eggiFUNCTION- | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Óli Anton | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | Sigurdur | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | kristoferomar2009 | 59% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kristoferomar2009 | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Jazzycakes | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Ausa | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | nexus | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeXmaskinen | 134 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Jazzycakes | 105 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mr. Goblin | 75 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sigurdur | 73 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #5 | kristoferomar2009 | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eggiFUNCTION- | +4.60 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Sigurdur | +2.94 | 80 | 53 |
| #3 | nexus | +2.88 | 76 | 77 |
| #4 | -->mio<-- | +2.36 | 61 | 49 |
| #5 | kristoferomar2009 | +1.58 | 71 | 43 |





