








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1966 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9288 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8673 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5321 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5619 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,653,988 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 450 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der1vative | 66% | 222 |
| #2 | Donder | 65% | 89 |
| #3 | Bren | 63% | 227 |
| #4 | decko | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | nika | 52% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der1vative | 66% | 222 |
| #2 | Donder | 65% | 89 |
| #3 | Bren | 63% | 227 |
| #4 | decko | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | nika | 52% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der1vative | 31 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Bren | 18 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Donder | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | nika | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | decko | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der1vative | 1071 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | Bren | 741 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #3 | Donder | 284 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | nika | 249 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | decko | 96 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tiny baby | +4.08 | 78 | 60 |
| #2 | Bren | +3.66 | 81 | 66 |
| #3 | Der1vative | +2.86 | 83 | 67 |
| #4 | decko | +1.58 | 86 | 62 |
| #5 | nika | +0.36 | 75 | 69 |





