








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2664 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,639 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10224 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10110 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 9327 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8978 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,800,816 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1490 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der1vative | 66% | 111 |
| #2 | tiny baby | 63% | 227 |
| #3 | Juul Cat | 53% | 95 |
| #4 | Käfig | 52% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der1vative | 66% | 111 |
| #2 | tiny baby | 63% | 227 |
| #3 | Juul Cat | 53% | 95 |
| #4 | Käfig | 52% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tiny baby | 20 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Der1vative | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Käfig | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Juul Cat | 8 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tiny baby | 886 | 0.19 | 21 min |
| #2 | Der1vative | 523 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | Käfig | 225 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Juul Cat | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bren | +4.06 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | tiny baby | +2.67 | 75 | 57 |
| #3 | Der1vative | +2.27 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | Käfig | -1.09 | 51 | 52 |
| #5 | Juul Cat | -3.70 | 27 | 36 |





