








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2807 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2609 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2600 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2438 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,457,423 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ninunjo | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Puikula | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | higu | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | gubbe | 58% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | HAL 9000 | 49% | 39 |
| #11 | hebduL | 49% | 37 |
| #12 | matte | 47% | 30 |
| #13 | stulth | 46% | 117 |
| #14 | |Kyrpex| | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gubbe | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Sväne | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Tzone | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | stulth | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Ninunjo | 2 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tzone | 584 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | Sväne | 294 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | stulth | 191 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | hebduL | 189 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #5 | gubbe | 161 | 0.06 | 4 min |





