








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 199 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,610 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 899 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1128 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1961 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1622 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $920,764 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 170 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | hebduL | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | gubbe | 56% | 95 |
| #4 | Tzone | 54% | 152 |
| #5 | stulth | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Sväne | 48% | 103 |
| #12 | theG | 46% | 26 |
| #13 | |Kyrpex| | 45% | 29 |
| #14 | matte | 38% | 26 |
| #15 | Puikula | 21% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sväne | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Tzone | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | gubbe | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | HAL 9000 | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | higu | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tzone | 701 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #2 | Sväne | 511 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #3 | HAL 9000 | 139 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | -Mel Gibson- | 128 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | stulth | 127 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | +3.00 | 72 | 72 |
| #2 | hebduL | +2.83 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | gubbe | +2.51 | 85 | 59 |
| #4 | Tzone | +1.12 | 81 | 70 |
| #5 | Mohis | +1.07 | 86 | 75 |





