








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 784 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 580 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9612 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8714 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 12213 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 6520 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,715,484 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 369 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | 61% | 276 |
| #2 | Dank Jesus | 59% | 174 |
| #3 | Insane | 54% | 76 |
| #4 | eXce!!eNt | 52% | 115 |
| #5 | S64 | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | eXce!!eNt | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | S64 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Insane | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | +3.47 | 80 | 61 |
| #2 | S64 | +1.69 | 64 | 59 |
| #3 | eXce!!eNt | +0.67 | 59 | 60 |
| #4 | Dank Jesus | +0.52 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | StealthPotato | +0.30 | 63 | 70 |





