








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 361 | 26% |
| Smokes | 658 | 47% |
| HE Grenades | 322 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 50 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $268,628 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | Winnie the tank | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | SLOTH | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | 98896446 | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | NKL | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 大日本帝國 | 46% | 24 |
| #8 | IVE AESPA GIDLE IU HANI | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | BigBoss | 41% | 29 |
| #10 | Steven | 35% | 20 |
| #11 | titaNic | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 阿木 | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | 大日本帝國 | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | ♡ | 3 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | 98896446 | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | titaNic | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 大日本帝國 | 72 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | NKL | 55 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | titaNic | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♡ | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | 阿木 | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | automaTic | +4.08 | 66 | 47 |
| #2 | NKL | +3.38 | 47 | 62 |
| #3 | Winnie the tank | +2.58 | 41 | 37 |
| #4 | ♡ | +0.28 | 56 | 39 |
| #5 | 大日本帝國 | +0.23 | 58 | 46 |





