








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 124 | 10% |
| Smokes | 557 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 355 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 206 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $180,664 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | NKL | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | 98896446 | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Steven | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Winnie the tank | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | automaTic | 41% | 29 |
| #8 | 阿木 | 41% | 17 |
| #9 | 大日本帝國 | 39% | 18 |
| #10 | IVE AESPA GIDLE IU HANI | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | titaNic | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | automaTic | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | titaNic | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | 大日本帝國 | 2 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Winnie the tank | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Steven | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 大日本帝國 | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | NKL | 48 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | automaTic | 45 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | titaNic | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | 阿木 | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | +4.58 | 51 | 51 |
| #2 | NKL | +4.08 | 46 | 58 |
| #3 | automaTic | +3.22 | 67 | 46 |
| #4 | 大日本帝國 | +1.25 | 58 | 42 |
| #5 | SLOTH | +0.34 | 38 | 48 |





