








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 403 | 18% |
| Smokes | 740 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 723 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 368 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $232,540 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKL | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Winnie the tank | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | ♡ | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | SLOTH | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | 98896446 | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 阿木 | 39% | 23 |
| #8 | BigBoss | 33% | 24 |
| #9 | Steven | 33% | 27 |
| #10 | automaTic | 33% | 30 |
| #11 | IVE AESPA GIDLE IU HANI | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 98896446 | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | 阿木 | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | automaTic | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | BigBoss | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ♡ | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ | 40 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #2 | automaTic | 21 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | 大日本帝國 | 20 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #4 | 阿木 | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Steven | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NKL | +3.36 | 60 | 71 |
| #2 | automaTic | +3.09 | 64 | 40 |
| #3 | ♡ | +2.79 | 55 | 43 |
| #4 | 大日本帝國 | +2.05 | 62 | 47 |
| #5 | Winnie the tank | +0.97 | 41 | 31 |





