








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2650 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2110 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1326 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1444 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1275 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $710,060 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 95% | 20 |
| #2 | Kuma - 熊 | 86% | 14 |
| #3 | ImpressioN- #A | 84% | 37 |
| #4 | chΰbbi☻ | 83% | 47 |
| #5 | splashske | 71% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ImpressioN- #A | 84% | 37 |
| #4 | chΰbbi☻ | 83% | 47 |
| #5 | splashske | 71% | 14 |
| #6 | Cammy | 65% | 20 |
| #7 | hash | 55% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cammy | 4 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | hash | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | ImpressioN- #A | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | chΰbbi☻ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImpressioN- #A | 160 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | hash | 150 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Cammy | 146 | 0.37 | 3 min |
| #4 | Noname | 129 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #5 | splashske | 61 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +6.56 | 80 | 77 |
| #2 | ImpressioN- #A | +6.31 | 86 | 87 |
| #3 | splashske | +4.90 | 93 | 68 |
| #4 | Kuma - 熊 | +3.44 | 72 | 66 |
| #5 | fatal | +2.78 | 86 | 71 |





