








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 868 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 431 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5280 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3779 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3890 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4235 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $893,796 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 481 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clon3™ | 75% | 51 |
| #2 | MxddHxTTer | 68% | 37 |
| #3 | 2dotS™ | 63% | 64 |
| #4 | Sigmar | 61% | 93 |
| #5 | Ph❂b❂s | 61% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Sigmar | 61% | 93 |
| #5 | Ph❂b❂s | 61% | 132 |
| #6 | Horns | 59% | 27 |
| #7 | ZoldoS™ | 57% | 54 |
| #8 | Jake Dahake | 57% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake Dahake | 10 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Sigmar | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | 2dotS™ | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | MxddHxTTer | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Ph❂b❂s | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ph❂b❂s | 314 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | Clon3™ | 290 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #3 | 2dotS™ | 270 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Jake Dahake | 198 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sigmar | 174 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmar | +3.01 | 86 | 52 |
| #2 | visionZ | +2.90 | 86 | 59 |
| #3 | 2dotS™ | +2.26 | 68 | 77 |
| #4 | Clon3™ | +1.45 | 71 | 74 |
| #5 | Ph❂b❂s | +0.89 | 45 | 71 |





