








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1757 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 706 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 162 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11326 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7903 | 22% |
| Smokes | 13823 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 5042 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 8764 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,689,252 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 461 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MxddHxTTer | 69% | 116 |
| #2 | Sigmar | 68% | 117 |
| #3 | Clon3™ | 65% | 165 |
| #4 | Kwaippel | 64% | 101 |
| #5 | Jake Dahake | 63% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake Dahake | 17 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Sigmar | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | 2dotS™ | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Clon3™ | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | MxddHxTTer | 7 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmar | +3.42 | 85 | 51 |
| #2 | visionZ | +2.84 | 84 | 56 |
| #3 | 2dotS™ | +2.72 | 73 | 79 |
| #4 | Kwaippel | +2.25 | 83 | 63 |
| #5 | Clon3™ | +2.15 | 71 | 77 |





