








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 928 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 541 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 150 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2759 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4047 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5590 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3699 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,914,838 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1137 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horns | 73% | 37 |
| #2 | quinndrake | 70% | 37 |
| #3 | Sigmar | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | *Viper* | 60% | 35 |
| #5 | MLKMN™ | 60% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | sinacle | 52% | 50 |
| #18 | EasyEthan | 51% | 37 |
| #19 | Macro peek | 47% | 38 |
| #20 | scalyn00b | 41% | 74 |
| #21 | ⛧Spook™ | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake Dahake | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Clon3™ | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | 2dotS™ | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Ph❂b❂s | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Malume DopLan ☁ | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2dotS™ | 540 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | Jake Dahake | 539 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | Clon3™ | 388 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #4 | Ph❂b❂s | 310 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | visionZ | 231 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmar | +3.78 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | visionZ | +3.28 | 88 | 62 |
| #3 | 2dotS™ | +2.71 | 73 | 76 |
| #4 | Clon3™ | +2.54 | 70 | 78 |
| #5 | Malume DopLan ☁ | +2.09 | 67 | 54 |





