








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 336 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2307 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2708 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1689 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1357 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $919,854 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Horns | 71% | 48 |
| #2 | Clon3™ | 71% | 58 |
| #3 | MxddHxTTer | 69% | 51 |
| #4 | Ph❂b❂s | 68% | 117 |
| #5 | EasyEthan | 67% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | visionZ | 61% | 93 |
| #10 | ZoldoS™ | 61% | 38 |
| #11 | Jake Dahake | 59% | 76 |
| #12 | Cartez | 56% | 25 |
| #13 | Pix™ | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake Dahake | 9 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Ph❂b❂s | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | MxddHxTTer | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | visionZ | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | 2dotS™ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | visionZ | 328 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | 2dotS™ | 315 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jake Dahake | 282 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Clon3™ | 275 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | Ph❂b❂s | 252 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J1nX [A] | +4.63 | 93 | 70 |
| #2 | Sigmar | +3.60 | 84 | 55 |
| #3 | 2dotS™ | +2.13 | 74 | 76 |
| #4 | visionZ | +1.96 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | Clon3™ | +1.96 | 73 | 73 |





