








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 363 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1009 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1763 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3926 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 3613 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,680,349 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boomerz | 52% | 58 |
| #2 | Herk | 46% | 229 |
| #3 | Richardwitdabag | 45% | 313 |
| #4 | Baraboos | 44% | 171 |
| #5 | BruceyPotato | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Richardwitdabag | 45% | 313 |
| #4 | Baraboos | 44% | 171 |
| #5 | BruceyPotato | 44% | 32 |
| #6 | Dylz | 41% | 129 |
| #7 | tinyskinflute | 36% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Herk | 39 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Richardwitdabag | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Baraboos | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Boomerz | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Dylz | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Richardwitdabag | 1141 | 0.17 | 28 min |
| #2 | Baraboos | 690 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #3 | Dylz | 540 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | Herk | 414 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #5 | Boomerz | 341 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BruceyPotato | +2.31 | 76 | 73 |
| #2 | Boomerz | +1.60 | 58 | 74 |
| #3 | Baraboos | +1.46 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | Herk | +0.89 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | Dylz | +0.41 | 52 | 69 |





