








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 111 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1755 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1444 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1621 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1496 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,534 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bog | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | uwuan | 65% | 20 |
| #4 | Adam|Stroud | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | ollie | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Adam|Stroud | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | ollie | 57% | 14 |
| #6 | Tor | 57% | 21 |
| #7 | jayisvexed | 53% | 77 |
| #8 | The Replicant | 53% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Replicant | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | jayisvexed | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | uwuan | 3 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jayisvexed | 250 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | The Replicant | 100 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ _Chow ♥ | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Tor | 60 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Adam|Stroud | 58 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bog | +4.78 | 94 | 64 |
| #2 | uwuan | +2.02 | 77 | 63 |
| #3 | jayisvexed | +1.96 | 83 | 54 |
| #4 | Ourob_ | +1.83 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | ollie | +0.49 | 87 | 57 |





