








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2821 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2347 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3152 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2778 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,680 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kanqqu | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | Jonte | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Keijo_Konnumies | 51% | 97 |
| #4 | ttike | 50% | 217 |
| #5 | älä viiti | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Keijo_Konnumies | 51% | 97 |
| #4 | ttike | 50% | 217 |
| #5 | älä viiti | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | Joosegamer | 49% | 161 |
| #7 | bilppu | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ttike | 20 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Joosegamer | 8 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Kanqqu | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Keijo_Konnumies | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | bilppu | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ttike | 783 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | Joosegamer | 507 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Keijo_Konnumies | 260 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | bilppu | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | älä viiti | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pörriäine | +3.02 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | Jonte | -0.31 | 69 | 50 |
| #3 | Keijo_Konnumies | -0.50 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | ttike | -0.78 | 64 | 63 |
| #5 | Joosegamer | -1.00 | 52 | 60 |





