








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
809 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 942 | 30% |
| Smokes | 604 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 889 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 745 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $183,170 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elere | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | älä viiti | 50% | 6 |
| #3 | pörriäine | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | ttike | 45% | 29 |
| #5 | Ykä | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | HevosSorsa | 33% | 12 |
| #13 | Apa | 29% | 14 |
| #14 | Kallolainen | 27% | 11 |
| #15 | Jänö :3 | 20% | 15 |
| #16 | CrispyB | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pörriäine | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | ttike | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | KermitTheKiller | 2 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Jänö :3 | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | HevosSorsa | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joosegamer | 117 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | ttike | 109 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | pörriäine | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Kookelis | 66 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ykä | 60 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pörriäine | +3.13 | 71 | 68 |
| #2 | Ykä | +1.99 | 77 | 76 |
| #3 | älä viiti | +1.93 | 64 | 40 |
| #4 | Keijo_Konnumies | +1.85 | 52 | 66 |
| #5 | Kanqqu | +1.25 | 62 | 29 |





