








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 270 | 28% |
| Smokes | 213 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 363 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 128 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $401,573 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pörriäine | 57% | 47 |
| #2 | Joosegamer | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | ttike | 53% | 43 |
| #4 | älä viiti | 50% | 16 |
| #5 | KermitTheKiller | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KermitTheKiller | 41% | 27 |
| #6 | Keijo_Konnumies | 40% | 15 |
| #7 | Vladiman420 | 36% | 11 |
| #8 | bilppu | 36% | 14 |
| #9 | Kookelis | 36% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KermitTheKiller | 9 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | pörriäine | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Kookelis | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Joosegamer | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | älä viiti | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joosegamer | 184 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | ttike | 182 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | pörriäine | 128 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kookelis | 107 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | KermitTheKiller | 90 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pörriäine | +3.58 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | Kanqqu | +0.27 | 71 | 30 |
| #3 | Joosegamer | +0.18 | 56 | 61 |
| #4 | ttike | -0.07 | 63 | 63 |
| #5 | Keijo_Konnumies | -0.69 | 75 | 69 |





