








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3067 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3102 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3400 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2805 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $891,007 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magezi | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Ara | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | pörriäine | 51% | 97 |
| #4 | Real Vesa Keskinen | 50% | 38 |
| #5 | Joosegamer | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ttike | 48% | 73 |
| #7 | Teme | 47% | 91 |
| #8 | SaneGd | 47% | 34 |
| #9 | kalamies | 45% | 98 |
| #10 | u dad ♿ | 40% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pörriäine | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | kalamies | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | ttike | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | u dad ♿ | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Real Vesa Keskinen | 5 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teme | 325 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | kalamies | 316 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | ttike | 275 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | pörriäine | 253 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | u dad ♿ | 204 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pörriäine | +3.65 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | SaneGd | +1.07 | 50 | 66 |
| #3 | Teme | +0.72 | 63 | 71 |
| #4 | Keijo_Konnumies | +0.00 | 62 | 63 |
| #5 | Ara | -0.05 | 56 | 66 |





