








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 346 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1161 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1543 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1629 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1439 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $922,937 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOUND-_- | 61% | 142 |
| #2 | bunneeh | 61% | 114 |
| #3 | Jesus31 | 58% | 97 |
| #4 | sto | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | Jaysee | 56% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | booleaN | 53% | 118 |
| #9 | Jizmo | 52% | 25 |
| #10 | d$ | 50% | 30 |
| #11 | Woohoo | 50% | 56 |
| #12 | Veorra ♡ | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOUND-_- | 13 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | bunneeh | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | booleaN | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | SmeaL | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Jaysee | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOUND-_- | 587 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | booleaN | 317 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | SmeaL | 301 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Jesus31 | 250 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | bunneeh | 235 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bunneeh | +3.04 | 92 | 70 |
| #2 | sto | +2.89 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | SmeaL | +1.02 | 76 | 63 |
| #4 | booleaN | +0.67 | 78 | 63 |
| #5 | B E N N Y Z | +0.46 | 57 | 58 |





