








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 584 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,509 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1022 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1286 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 315 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 886 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $579,046 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | avon | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Jesus31 | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | arT | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | bunneeh | 56% | 57 |
| #5 | B E N N Y Z | 56% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Veorra ♡ | 50% | 10 |
| #11 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | 50% | 12 |
| #12 | d$ | 48% | 21 |
| #13 | Woohoo | 44% | 16 |
| #14 | Jizmo | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOUND-_- | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | B E N N Y Z | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | booleaN | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | 3 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | bunneeh | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOUND-_- | 458 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | booleaN | 186 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | SmeaL | 157 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | sto | 140 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jesus31 | 133 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sto | +3.28 | 80 | 69 |
| #2 | bunneeh | +2.66 | 91 | 70 |
| #3 | booleaN | +0.99 | 74 | 69 |
| #4 | Jaysee | +0.46 | 75 | 48 |
| #5 | Rap†or | ๑ﭥ | +0.43 | 86 | 76 |





