








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 410 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3630 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,988 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 62 | 1% |
| Smokes | 2104 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 590 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2232 | 45% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,208,795 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kevenped | 50% | 218 |
| #2 | rattatouiIIe | 48% | 330 |
| #3 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 45% | 297 |
| #4 | Gab T Desh | 44% | 161 |
| #5 | Whitebeard OP | 42% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | rattatouiIIe | 48% | 330 |
| #3 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 45% | 297 |
| #4 | Gab T Desh | 44% | 161 |
| #5 | Whitebeard OP | 42% | 98 |
| #6 | Advil | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kevenped | 18 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | rattatouiIIe | 17 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Gab T Desh | 11 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Whitebeard OP | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 292 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #2 | rattatouiIIe | 290 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | kevenped | 194 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Whitebeard OP | 101 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gab T Desh | 78 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serafemaster | +1.32 | 54 | 20 |
| #2 | Advil | +1.00 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | kevenped | +0.64 | 67 | 45 |
| #4 | Whitebeard OP | -0.21 | 42 | 53 |
| #5 | Eevon Ken'ivon | -0.39 | 42 | 68 |





