








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 696 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3310 | 56% |
| HE Grenades | 181 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 1774 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,813 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MathLeBat | 48% | 50 |
| #2 | kevenped | 47% | 98 |
| #3 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 45% | 153 |
| #4 | serafemaster | 44% | 161 |
| #5 | Whitebeard OP | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kevenped | 47% | 98 |
| #3 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 45% | 153 |
| #4 | serafemaster | 44% | 161 |
| #5 | Whitebeard OP | 43% | 23 |
| #6 | rattatouiIIe | 43% | 295 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rattatouiIIe | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | serafemaster | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | kevenped | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | MathLeBat | 4 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rattatouiIIe | 225 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #2 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 142 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | kevenped | 85 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | MathLeBat | 79 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Whitebeard OP | 16 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serafemaster | +2.20 | 54 | 18 |
| #2 | kevenped | +1.49 | 67 | 49 |
| #3 | rattatouiIIe | +0.01 | 45 | 49 |
| #4 | Eevon Ken'ivon | -0.09 | 41 | 68 |
| #5 | Whitebeard OP | -0.53 | 50 | 43 |





