








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 852 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,937 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4478 | 17% |
| Smokes | 10644 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 6469 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5346 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,178,148 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kevenped | 52% | 223 |
| #2 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 49% | 416 |
| #3 | serafemaster | 48% | 330 |
| #4 | Gab T Desh | 43% | 295 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kevenped | 52% | 223 |
| #2 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 49% | 416 |
| #3 | serafemaster | 48% | 330 |
| #4 | Gab T Desh | 43% | 295 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serafemaster | 26 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Gab T Desh | 16 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | kevenped | 16 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 11 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eevon Ken'ivon | 341 | 0.04 | 10 min |
| #2 | kevenped | 189 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gab T Desh | 123 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #4 | serafemaster | 11 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serafemaster | +1.70 | 56 | 20 |
| #2 | rattatouiIIe | +0.45 | 46 | 52 |
| #3 | kevenped | +0.33 | 66 | 45 |
| #4 | Eevon Ken'ivon | -0.25 | 40 | 67 |
| #5 | Gab T Desh | -2.30 | 50 | 39 |





