










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 661 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 522 matches | ||
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10688 | 31% |
| Smokes | 8022 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8167 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7386 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,517,336 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1625 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Alvarot | 57% | 338 |
| #2 | Viktoral | 56% | 268 |
| #3 | Sas1l | 56% | 273 |
| #4 | 007kof | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | AIMGodZila | 53% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sas1l | 56% | 273 |
| #4 | 007kof | 53% | 73 |
| #5 | AIMGodZila | 53% | 77 |
| #6 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 53% | 173 |
| #7 | sike | 52% | 284 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Alvarot | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Sas1l | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | sike | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Viktoral | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Alvarot | 1245 | 0.17 | 33 min |
| #2 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 681 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #3 | sike | 573 | 0.10 | 16 min |
| #4 | Viktoral | 564 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | Sas1l | 510 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viktoral | +1.52 | 68 | 65 |
| #2 | sike | +1.25 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | +0.98 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | Berasarte | +0.65 | 81 | 62 |
| #5 | Sas1l | -0.93 | 77 | 60 |





