








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 858 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 475 matches | ||
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,475 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7739 | 26% |
| Smokes | 7828 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6639 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7269 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,410,140 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ FelipeL | 67% | 52 |
| #2 | ✪ Alvarot | 57% | 406 |
| #3 | AIMGodZila | 56% | 157 |
| #4 | Berasarte | 56% | 268 |
| #5 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 56% | 398 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Berasarte | 56% | 268 |
| #5 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 56% | 398 |
| #6 | sike | 53% | 353 |
| #7 | 007kof | 53% | 188 |
| #8 | Sas1l | 51% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Berasarte | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | sike | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | ✪ Alvarot | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | AIMGodZila | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 1798 | 0.21 | 48 min |
| #2 | ✪ Alvarot | 1431 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #3 | 007kof | 780 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #4 | AIMGodZila | 755 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #5 | sike | 722 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ FelipeL | +2.06 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | Viktoral | +1.33 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | +0.81 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | sike | +0.55 | 77 | 70 |
| #5 | Berasarte | +0.23 | 80 | 62 |





