








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 197 matches | ||
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2625 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2759 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2282 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2278 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,761,650 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 62% | 60 |
| #2 | ✪ Alvarot | 59% | 150 |
| #3 | Berasarte | 56% | 273 |
| #4 | sike | 56% | 151 |
| #5 | Viktoral | 51% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 62% | 60 |
| #2 | ✪ Alvarot | 59% | 150 |
| #3 | Berasarte | 56% | 273 |
| #4 | sike | 56% | 151 |
| #5 | Viktoral | 51% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berasarte | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | sike | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | ✪ Alvarot | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Viktoral | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Berasarte | 878 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | ✪ Alvarot | 621 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | sike | 310 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 240 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | Viktoral | 231 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | +1.68 | 72 | 68 |
| #2 | sike | +1.56 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | Viktoral | +1.54 | 67 | 61 |
| #4 | Berasarte | +1.41 | 81 | 62 |
| #5 | Sas1l | -0.71 | 77 | 60 |





