








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 454 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 461 matches | ||
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6764 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8729 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7959 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6021 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7262 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,583,231 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ FelipeL | 61% | 54 |
| #2 | Sas1l | 59% | 150 |
| #3 | AIMGodZila | 58% | 96 |
| #4 | 007kof | 57% | 130 |
| #5 | Viktoral | 57% | 406 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 007kof | 57% | 130 |
| #5 | Viktoral | 57% | 406 |
| #6 | Berasarte | 57% | 338 |
| #7 | sike | 53% | 462 |
| #8 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 53% | 377 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | sike | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Viktoral | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Berasarte | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Sas1l | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | 1674 | 0.21 | 47 min |
| #2 | Berasarte | 1081 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #3 | Viktoral | 1040 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #4 | sike | 967 | 0.10 | 27 min |
| #5 | 007kof | 542 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ FelipeL | +1.76 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | Viktoral | +1.57 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | sike | +1.09 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | I DO NOT HAVE DADDY ISSUES | +0.98 | 70 | 67 |
| #5 | Berasarte | +0.75 | 78 | 62 |





