








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 487 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1716 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2450 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2764 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2166 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,934,086 of utility $272 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1021 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bLazE | 73% | 103 |
| #2 | Dizzy | 72% | 57 |
| #3 | 2SSB | 70% | 138 |
| #4 | | 69% | 127 |
| #5 | Dextny™ | 69% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Polaris | 56% | 34 |
| #11 | P3g4sus | 50% | 42 |
| #12 | X1L3 | 49% | 51 |
| #13 | Sinhility | 45% | 44 |
| #14 | Shneaks | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jean^^ | 18 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Dizzy | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | 2SSB | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Shneaks | 4 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2SSB | 970 | 0.33 | 23 min |
| #2 | | 855 | 0.31 | 21 min |
| #3 | bLazE | 330 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | ✪Jean^^ | 293 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | Dizzy | 165 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bLazE | +3.62 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | ✪Jean^^ | +3.17 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | 2SSB | +2.19 | 79 | 68 |
| #4 | PyroPriest | +2.06 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | Dizzy | +1.86 | 74 | 74 |





