








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 409 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1123 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1536 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 998 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1527 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,693 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prankster | 63% | 32 |
| #2 | Balzu | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | LΔLDØ | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | ǝʞʞɒ | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | bastard | 56% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | KooÄs | 50% | 50 |
| #9 | Peksu | 48% | 25 |
| #10 | jutku | 47% | 15 |
| #11 | magnesium | 42% | 19 |
| #12 | .-- . .- ... . .-.. | 42% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | silenzio | +4.49 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Balzu | +0.79 | 74 | 72 |
| #3 | bastard | +0.37 | 77 | 75 |
| #4 | KooÄs | +0.29 | 66 | 77 |
| #5 | Puljujärvi | +0.21 | 50 | 78 |





