








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1338 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1691 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 963 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1431 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $511,403 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuperCats | 84% | 19 |
| #2 | Evan | 83% | 12 |
| #3 | MERL | 80% | 10 |
| #4 | TabeN- | 80% | 15 |
| #5 | I Test My Crack | 76% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 62 | 0.0211 |
| #2 | redman | 41 | 0.0259 |
| #3 | I Test My Crack | 4 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | muscle mommy | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | ღDooMy | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 647 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | redman | 439 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #3 | TabeN- | 93 | 0.32 | 2 min |
| #4 | SuperCats | 85 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | I Test My Crack | 61 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | swagmaster | +3.89 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | TabeN- | +2.78 | 93 | 67 |
| #3 | Phoenix | +2.39 | 60 | 71 |
| #4 | -nightblade666 | +1.93 | 95 | 72 |
| #5 | MERL | +1.27 | 84 | 78 |





