








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 324 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,572 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1523 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3619 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2184 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3246 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,828,450 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skunk | 63% | 35 |
| #2 | Gauchox | 53% | 77 |
| #3 | Lpg | 50% | 86 |
| #4 | ŠcraƁz | 50% | 106 |
| #5 | Abracadabroutch' | 49% | 113 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | claD | 44% | 126 |
| #8 | LazPiT | 44% | 73 |
| #9 | nRKK- [A] | 43% | 46 |
| #10 | Starks' | 41% | 44 |
| #11 | XChaussette | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Abracadabroutch' | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Skunk | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | XChaussette | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | claD | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ŠcraƁz | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gauchox | 381 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | Abracadabroutch' | 323 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | ŠcraƁz | 246 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | claD | 159 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Maël «0x» Ratel ™ | 142 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skunk | +5.60 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | Gauchox | +1.89 | 46 | 83 |
| #3 | Lpg | +1.44 | 50 | 66 |
| #4 | Abracadabroutch' | +1.42 | 47 | 73 |
| #5 | nRKK- [A] | +1.36 | 63 | 71 |





