








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 593 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 327 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4290 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6512 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4456 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3471 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,931,469 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gauchox | 60% | 72 |
| #2 | Abracadabroutch' | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Lpg | 54% | 67 |
| #4 | claD | 52% | 127 |
| #5 | LazPiT | 52% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | LazPiT | 52% | 54 |
| #6 | ŠcraƁz | 52% | 89 |
| #7 | nRKK- [A] | 49% | 59 |
| #8 | WaaX | xɐɐʍ | 46% | 93 |
| #9 | XChaussette | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | claD | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | WaaX | xɐɐʍ | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ŠcraƁz | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | LazPiT | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Abracadabroutch' | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gauchox | 366 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | ŠcraƁz | 207 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Abracadabroutch' | 156 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | claD | 141 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | nRKK- [A] | 124 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gauchox | +1.72 | 48 | 83 |
| #2 | LazPiT | +1.39 | 47 | 46 |
| #3 | Lpg | +1.33 | 51 | 61 |
| #4 | XChaussette | +1.28 | 66 | 51 |
| #5 | Abracadabroutch' | +0.96 | 44 | 73 |





