








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 290 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3070 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3740 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4352 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2523 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,606,810 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaMzErItOoO | 56% | 75 |
| #2 | PearZ- | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | LazPiT | 54% | 107 |
| #4 | Maël «0x» Ratel ™ | 54% | 67 |
| #5 | Skunk | 51% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | XChaussette | 49% | 122 |
| #9 | Gauchox | 47% | 190 |
| #10 | ŠcraƁz | 46% | 194 |
| #11 | claD | 45% | 187 |
| #12 | nRKK- [A] | 40% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skunk | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ŠcraƁz | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Abracadabroutch' | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | XChaussette | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Gauchox | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gauchox | 918 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #2 | Abracadabroutch' | 438 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | ŠcraƁz | 408 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | claD | 199 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Skunk | 188 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CaMzErItOoO | +3.75 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | Skunk | +2.41 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | Gauchox | +0.97 | 47 | 79 |
| #4 | XChaussette | +0.59 | 66 | 42 |
| #5 | Lpg | +0.38 | 50 | 60 |





