








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,701 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2020 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2392 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2049 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2240 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $925,533 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 704 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bonkbonkbonkbonk | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Whale | 72% | 71 |
| #3 | String Bean | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | Thomas Shelby | 69% | 105 |
| #5 | lil mugga | 67% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | katalyst der Gott | 62% | 21 |
| #9 | linK | 62% | 13 |
| #10 | Bnaugs | 61% | 18 |
| #11 | MisfitMason | 60% | 20 |
| #12 | pz | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmartAsSuperman | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Jackfwaust | 9 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Whale | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | lil mugga | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | MisfitMason | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whale | 526 | 0.35 | 14 min |
| #2 | SmartAsSuperman | 430 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Jackfwaust | 283 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #4 | lil mugga | 252 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Thomas Shelby | 125 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmartAsSuperman | +2.69 | 82 | 63 |
| #2 | Whale | +2.35 | 79 | 79 |
| #3 | Thomas Shelby | +2.08 | 84 | 56 |
| #4 | katalyst der Gott | +1.72 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | pz | +1.17 | 79 | 69 |





