








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 499 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 302 matches | ||
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,533 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2948 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4602 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4719 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5264 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,640,018 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whale | 75% | 112 |
| #2 | SmartAsSuperman | 69% | 113 |
| #3 | Payru | 69% | 105 |
| #4 | katalyst der Gott | 62% | 149 |
| #5 | lil mugga | 62% | 342 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Payru | 69% | 105 |
| #4 | katalyst der Gott | 62% | 149 |
| #5 | lil mugga | 62% | 342 |
| #6 | pz | 60% | 30 |
| #7 | ✿ kuroyushi Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | 55% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lil mugga | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | SmartAsSuperman | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Whale | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Payru | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ✿ kuroyushi Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whale | 930 | 0.37 | 24 min |
| #2 | lil mugga | 850 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #3 | katalyst der Gott | 363 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | SmartAsSuperman | 309 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Payru | 263 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomas Shelby | +2.25 | 84 | 59 |
| #2 | Whale | +2.23 | 81 | 79 |
| #3 | SmartAsSuperman | +1.74 | 83 | 64 |
| #4 | katalyst der Gott | +1.52 | 82 | 64 |
| #5 | pz | +0.93 | 74 | 66 |





